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Letter "D" » Dave Barry Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Funny,
Humor
| Keywords:
circumstances, laxative, laxatives, pill, pilled, sleeping, sleeping pill, the Pill, under
«Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
control, dogs, duct, duct tape, five, force, forces, fundamental, gravity, groin, Groins, pulling out, pulls, pull in, pull over, pull through, pull up, remote, remotest, remote control, six, Strangers, tape, tapes, taping, The Force, The Six, the universe, universe, whines, whining
«You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.»
«Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.»
«The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.»
«What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.»
«Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
animal, cow, cowed, dropped, drop by, fastest, feet, has-been, helicopter, helicopters, on earth, PER, scientists, second, sped, speed, speeded, speeded up, speeds, speed up, The Scientists, top
«People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.»
«It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells . . . to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.»
«Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Scientists
| Keywords:
biological, breasted, breasts, function, primaries, primary, scientists, stupid, The Scientists
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