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Letter "J" » Jon Stewart Quotes
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«Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.»
«If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
American, Ashcroft, attack, attorney, attorneys, Attorney General, civil, civil liberties, civil liberty, civil right, civil rights, evens, general, john, John A, John Ashcroft, John D, liberty, proven, rights, right to liberty, September, September 11, take away, terrorists, terrorist attack, terrorist attacks
«But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with? at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.»
«You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.»
«No. I'm not going to be your monkey.»
«I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.»
«I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.»
«GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who ? as we all know ? before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| About:
George W. Bush,
John Kerry
| Keywords:
attending, cockney, debunk, fat, fat cat, GOP, Kerry, quote, reveal, revelation, Revelation of, status, the President, tuberculosis, unlike, Yale
«I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doesn't. It's like the way free speech doesn't apply at work. You can't just walk into your boss' office and say 'you're a fuckface and I'm gonna go back to work now.' No, you're not.»
«Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'»
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